Recently, Perez Hilton was caught trying to distribute ‘child pornography’ of Miley Cyrus on his website. The ever-popular ‘upskirt’ images which are often linked to in low-class internet websites with spam, malware, popups, and other hassles. No statement yet from Perez Hilton whether his Miley image was ‘real’ or ‘fake’.
However, under federal child pornography laws, it doesn’t matter whether the image is real or not. Any image is classified, since the content determines the legality (or technically illegality) of it. Perez seems eager to ‘buddy up’ with Miley now, as if this will make a difference. It isn’t up to Miley Cyrus, or her family. He can be charged with possession, for having the image. Heck, he can even be charged with possession for ‘having had’ the image, since it can now be proven beyond all reasonable doubt he has at least possessed the photo. He can be charged with distribution, for trying to spread the illegal image to others. Millions of others, technically. Imagine if a prosecutor wanted to tally up the transfers of the photo, and charge him with individual counts? He could well be in prison for the rest of his life. No more Perez. Ever. How sad would that be?
Not very, I’m happy to say. I’m sorry, Perez. I really am. But, you are now even more scum than you already were. Calling people gay just to get attention is pretty sick, but trading in child pornography is sick on a completely different level.
Perez Hilton, I urge you to turn yourself in to the proper authorities. It will only go worse for you if you pull your usual act, and deny wrongdoing. You’re a professional blogger. You know these things are archived. You’ve been caught red-handed. Make it easy on yourself.
They don’t even need Miley’s statements to convict you. All they need is proof that you possessed child pornography, which they have already, and proof that you knowingly distributed the child pornography, which they also have. They can prove you knew she was a minor, and they can prove you knew naked or sexually-provocative images of minors are illegal to distribute. Face it, Perez, you are in serious legal trouble.
Do the right thing, Perez. Turn yourself in.
(By the way, I categorized this post under “Humor”, not because I think that child pornography is funny, but because I think it would be absolutely hilarious if Perez Hilton were to go to prison for many years. I think it might change his whole outlook on life.)
