Is Perez Hilton a sex offender, or just a fraud?

Recently, Perez Hilton was caught trying to distribute ‘child pornography’ of Miley Cyrus on his website. The ever-popular ‘upskirt’ images which are often linked to in low-class internet websites with spam, malware, popups, and other hassles. No statement yet from Perez Hilton whether his Miley image was ‘real’ or ‘fake’.

However, under federal child pornography laws, it doesn’t matter whether the image is real or not. Any image is classified, since the content determines the legality (or technically illegality) of it. Perez seems eager to ‘buddy up’ with Miley now, as if this will make a difference. It isn’t up to Miley Cyrus, or her family. He can be charged with possession, for having the image. Heck, he can even be charged with possession for ‘having had’ the image, since it can now be proven beyond all reasonable doubt he has at least possessed the photo. He can be charged with distribution, for trying to spread the illegal image to others. Millions of others, technically. Imagine if a prosecutor wanted to tally up the transfers of the photo, and charge him with individual counts? He could well be in prison for the rest of his life. No more Perez. Ever. How sad would that be?

Not very, I’m happy to say. I’m sorry, Perez. I really am. But, you are now even more scum than you already were. Calling people gay just to get attention is pretty sick, but trading in child pornography is sick on a completely different level.

Perez Hilton, I urge you to turn yourself in to the proper authorities. It will only go worse for you if you pull your usual act, and deny wrongdoing. You’re a professional blogger. You know these things are archived. You’ve been caught red-handed. Make it easy on yourself.

They don’t even need Miley’s statements to convict you. All they need is proof that you possessed child pornography, which they have already, and proof that you knowingly distributed the child pornography, which they also have. They can prove you knew she was a minor, and they can prove you knew naked or sexually-provocative images of minors are illegal to distribute. Face it, Perez, you are in serious legal trouble.

Do the right thing, Perez. Turn yourself in.

(By the way, I categorized this post under “Humor”, not because I think that child pornography is funny, but because I think it would be absolutely hilarious if Perez Hilton were to go to prison for many years. I think it might change his whole outlook on life.)

Joran van der Sloot, lion, or frightened little boy?

I was reading an AP (Associated Press) article about Joran van der Sloot, the spineless wonder who murdered at least one woman, and possibly two. The article suggests that in an online post he once commented he would like to be a lion someday.

Joran, if you are somehow able to read this, I have some advice..

Lions get caged these days, Joran. You get your wish. Be happy with it. Your plastic fangs have been pulled, and your claws have been clipped for safety. Your papier mache mane has fallen off, and you have to beg for your meals. But, you are a lion. For all that being a lion is worth. Which is nothing to the world. The king of beasts, afraid of his own shadow. Suffer long, and suffer well

The long and short of it is this. You are not a lion. You aren’t even a beast. You’re an impotent, scared, tiny-minded fool. Whatever it is you’re after, it will always remain beyond your grasp. Even without these charges, you’d be living a lie, pretending to be something you aren’t. Do you really believe conning girls into lowering their guard, and murdering them makes you a savage jungle monster? It makes you nothing. In some places in the world, they wouldn’t even call the police. They’d just shoot you dead. The king of beasts, brought to ground with a single bullet. Feel mighty now?

I suppose I get it, though. When I was a little boy, I wanted to be Spiderman. Of course, I didn’t try to murder anyone. I was a little boy. I grew up. You obviously didn’t. Maybe you will never get the chance, Joran. You are going to prison for a very long time. Your parents’ money can’t save you. Your skill at lying to people can’t save you, either. Your life as you know it is over. You will never be able to hold your head up with pride. You will never be the sports star. The rich handsome guy. You will forever be that freak who murdered girls. Even if you live long enough to be released from prison, you will never truly leave. You will live in utter fear for the rest of your life.

Why? Because you’re not a lion, and you never were. You are what a lion would call lunch.

Barack Obama: Working for us, or himself?

Flash backward to a several weeks ago. There was an explosion in the Gulf of Mexico, and a bunch of oil rig workers died. Containment efforts failed. The rig began to sink, and oil was gushing from the open well. BP, the oil company responsible for the rig, was tasked with capping the well, and preventing a major ecological disaster.

Back to the here and now. BP has failed, multiple times. Barack Obama’s government has at times blamed BP, and at times claimed that the President was on top of this situation. It can be dizzying to try and understand how someone can both be in charge, and not, at the same time.

There is a very good reason why it’s so dizzying to understand. That very good reason is that our President and his staff have been lying to us. Remember that old phrase? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Well, there are two possibilities here. Either Obama is in charge, or he isn’t. If he isn’t, then BP, a foreign holding, has this nation in a total stranglehold, and refuses to successfully cap the well, for whatever reason they have. They would rather try to pump the oil, and let local interests, nature, businesses, fishing industries, and everything else fend for themselves. The other possibility, is that Obama is in charge. In this instance, he’s allowed BP numerous attempts to do the right thing. They keep stalling, failing, and not doing the work. He sees it, and hasn’t taken them away from it. Instead, he plays media musical chairs, claiming BP is doing it, and that he’s the boss, on different days of the week. He tours the area, making token gestures, promises, and holding tar balls in his fingers, attempting to make it look as though he cares.

Well, we know, legally, ethically, and factually, that BP is not in charge. So, that leaves Obama holding the tar ball, so to speak. He is the President. He is the one all the agencies report to. He is the one that must give the nod to every major decision in this growing chaos. He is responsible when the cleanup fails, repeatedly. He is responsible, because our nation had an election, and he fought tooth and nail to win a seat in the chair he now sits in, making him the one to blame when situations like these happen, and things go bad. He knew this, and wanted the job anyway. We voted him in, as a nation.

Today, I read an article about Obama calling for a probe into what happened.

He’s made the concentrated effort of telling the entire world he is in charge of this, and he needs a probe? Doesn’t he know what happened? Didn’t he ask BP to tell him? We’ve had all these universities and experts analyzing the spill the entire time. Why wasn’t he listening to any of them? He’s beginning to do, with this probe statement, what many feared he would from the moment he first claimed to be in charge of this cleanup effort. Now that it is not the easy win he hoped for, he is looking to blame everyone but Barack Obama for it.

We don’t need a probe, Mr. President. We already know who is to blame. You took responsibility publicly. Remember? That’s good enough for us. You told us you’d fix it. You told us you were putting the might of the White House to this task. I was sitting in my chair when you said so, on television, for the world to see and hear. You promised us ‘change’ when you campaigned. You told us you were going to clean things up, long before any oil spill was in sight.

Why did you lie? Why aren’t you working to protect us? There have now been two high-profile terrorist attacks in this country since you took office. Both times, federal-level blunders allowed these terrorists to gain access to commercial flights, despite being on watch lists. Both times, you blamed everyone but yourself. Now, we have this oil spill. You finally did man up, and said you were responsible, in charge, and that you were handling it, working for us. Then, as soon as we turn our backs, you give us this probe crap. I am a life-long Democrat, Mr. President. Your behavior, this flip-flopping bullshit, it sickens me. I took a risk, and believed in you. I hoped you were as honest as you claimed. I was mistaken. As I touched on above. Fool me once, shame on me. There will not be a twice, though. You will not be getting my vote next time. I do not vote for ego-driven liars. You may lose a bunch of other votes over this, too. I can only speak for myself, but I suspect sooner or later everyone will start to remember your promises, and your recent behavior contradicts them. You are behaving like a typical politician. Say one thing, do another. If I were in your shoes, I’d resign, but then I’m an honest man. What will you do? I can already see your finger pointing. Where will it aim? Never on yourself, Mr. President. Never there, right?

David Zinczenko’s Yahoo blog for Men’s Health now blocks comments?

For months, like many other people, I have been disappointed in Yahoo for promoting David Zinczenko’s ‘health’ blog. You should have read some of the angry comments that would pour in on his posts. Well (as of 05/31/2010), now no one can read them, or post them, either. To summarize for those who no longer have the joy of voicing their opinion on Zinczenko’s brand-driven crusade to tell people that unhealthy food choices are unhealthy, a lot of people pointed out errors in his claims, suspicious measurements in food and drink servings, and a general lack of common sense. Some, like myself, accused him of fraud.

For instance, in a recent post about healthy drinks, he claims a flavored water is bad. Okay, I thought. This is his big chance to PROVE he’s an educated, unbiased, smart guy promoting the healthy lifestyle. An alternative to a ‘sugar-filled’ flavored water. This should be a no-brainer. Nope. He fails. He could have said plain water, but plain water has no logo on it, and can’t make Zinczenko any endorsement money. Instead, he tells us to drink “Smart Water.” Also, several of his statements target products that aren’t necessarily bad for you, but they do have something else in common, as they are all VERY POPULAR. Other posts of his blog mirror this trend. He’ll routinely bash a particular restaurant, or three.

Well, today, being Memorial Day, I saw a post on the ‘worst’ chips and dips. Really? But, you reason, don’t we expect chips and dips to generally be unhealthy party food? Well, yes, we expect this to be true. However, you can’t comment on his claims. He no longer wants his readers knowing that so many visitors to his blog disagree with his statements, or accuse him of being a shill, or find obvious errors in his words as well as dodgy math. Interesting that the editor of Men’s Health magazine, and an accomplished author, doesn’t want to know what the public thinks of his work, huh?

Mr. Zinczenko, I have some advice for you. Re-enable comments on your blog. It’s the only HONEST way to go. Imagine if every previous hostile commenter decided to blog about your blocking their comments? You’d become one of the most despised personalities in the online world. At least with Yahoo, you can edit and remove these comments. This blog is mine, and you can’t silence what I say. Freedom of speech at it’s finest, eh?

Apple’s secret marketing strategy?

What follows was originally intended as a comment to an AP (Associated Press) story concerning why the iPhone is a success, despite it not being all that great, technologically. I felt it was important to re-post it here, because it is something that someone, somewhere, may one day find useful. If I can help, entertain, amuse, or ‘cure’ just one person of something, I believe that person’s life will become truly enriched, so it is a task worthy of effort, even a small one.

—

The iPhone, like any other Apple product, is built upon successful use of hype. Step #1 – Flood the airwaves, television, radio, magazines, catalogs with a saturation of press talking about your product. Step #2 – Rinse, repeat. No one can touch this marketing technique, because it is impossibly perfect. Most of the time when I see an Apple product commercial, over 50% of any statements they say in that commercial are complete lies. They rely on saturation marketing to browbeat you into buying one, even if you know what they say is a lie. You can’t realistically avoid hearing about an iPhone, iPod, iPad, Mac, or anything else Apple makes and sells. It just won’t work. They’re in the news. Don’t watch the news, your friend’s got one. Don’t have any friends? No problem, they’ll slap a poster on the side of a bus, billboard, bumpersticker, whatever it takes to get their stuff on your mind a greater percentage of your daily life more than any competitor. Their strategy works, largely, because people are stupid. No offense, people, but you are. I see it constantly. Some reporter did a story on the latest Droid phone, and even though it did almost everything BETTER than her iPhone, which has essentially NO SIGNAL in her apartment, she still bashed the Droid phone for issues that either were not the phone’s fault, or poor battery life that was by her own admission consistent with her iPhone’s. People are stupid, and do not like to think for themselves. Abandoning the iProduct means having to do research, and people do not like research. It means thinking, and stupid people do not like to use their brains. Being smart means I realize no one who is an iFan will care what I’m saying here. I could point out 15 ways that an iProduct is substandard, old tech, crippled, under-powered, overly expensive junk, but you would never listen, because to you it is easier to buy what Steve Jobs tells you to buy. There is a very good reason you are called zombies. But, much like true zombies, you can’t or won’t hear it, and refuse to change. You are perfectly happy to shamble about, eating up anything Master Jobs points his skeletonized finger at, and moan in collective approval. So, the bottom line, the iPhone does well because society is full of stupid people, who make stupid decisions, and make greedy people rich. Even in a horrible economic situation, people flocked to stores when the iPad was released. Why? It does nothing that a tablet PC from over 5 years ago already did, except have an Apple logo on it. But, go on. Keep making Steve Jobs richer. Keep showing mega-corporations that they do not have to put out good products. Keep showing companies that they can lie through their teeth promoting a product, and you’ll still buy it, because you don’t need honesty, stuff that works well, or peace of mind. Keep making it harder for those of us who do like quality to find it, because so many companies are content to shaft us, just like Apple.

Even though I know a few people who are ‘iFans’, and they seem generally likeable people, I still stand behind what I said above. I know electronics, inside and out, and I can professionally and honestly say that there is NOTHING an Apple product does that a rival product can’t do at least as well, and usually for less money, except interface with Apple’s proprietary services (iTunes for example). People may argue that Macs don’t crash like a PC does. That’s true. The BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death [Fatal Error]) is black instead of blue, and other terms may be different, but EVERYTHING can crash. I’ve seen Apple products crash quite often, in fact. Steve Jobs has even admitted publicly that Flash can crash a Mac. I’ve seen iProducts fail, crash, break, crack, and not perform basic functions. I’ve seen PC’s do the same thing, but the laptop I am on right now writing this blog post uses Windows XP, and it has not crashed a single time so far. I’ve owned it since December. I have owned other PC’s that either haven’t crashed at all while I owned them, or had it happen rarely (as in once in all of 3 years of use). The point here, again, is that there is no electronic device, from microwave oven, to alarm clock, to advanced computer system, that can’t fail in some way, part of the time. Anyone who says otherwise, is lying to you.

If you must have an Apple product, go ahead, but do not tell me it ‘kills PC’ in terms of function, performance, or reliability. I may slap you with one of the MANY Apple products I’ve had to service over the years. You may like Apple, but it is not the most advanced device on the planet. Steve Jobs can make claims all he likes, but his claims are not currently true.

My point in all of this is choice. Apple doesn’t want you to know there are other devices out there. They don’t want you to know that Sandisk makes a Sansa media player that is just fine for a lot of people. They don’t want you knowing some of their competitors have a longer battery life, bigger screen, or don’t need you to use iTunes. They don’t want you looking at other computers, desktop or laptop, which might run software that a Mac doesn’t have access to. They certainly don’t want you knowing many computers are hundreds of dollars CHEAPER than a Mac, now that the economy has made our wallets and purses much tighter than they might otherwise be.

As an informed consumer, and a technophile, as well as someone who repairs these devices on a regular basis, I advocate people knowing what they buy before they pull out their hard-earned money and put it on the counter. Know what you are getting into, and do your own research. The people at the store will rarely tell you the products you’re looking at have negatives or problems. They want to move merchandise, and get paid. If you know what you need, and what to expect from use, you’ll understand what to buy, and how to take care of it. I know the limits of every device I own. My pocketpc doesn’t crash, because I know what it will not do. The same for my laptop, desktops, and anything else. Knowing what you own, and how to use these things, prevents 90% of the problems most people have.

Do what you like, and like what you do, but please do not let anyone tell you what to buy. You certainly wouldn’t stand there if you pull out your wallet and the sales clerk tells you there’s an undisplayed markup on the price and it now costs twice what it says it does. Shop around, and make sure you are getting the best for what you want/need. You’ll thank yourself later.

American Heart Association (AHA) takes kickbacks from Nintendo.

No, I’m not lying, and I’m not misleading you in any way. But, the American Heart Association would probably claim I am. They’ve put their logo and endorsement on the Nintendo Wii gaming system, certifying it in ways that will make it boost profits, and have a sticker no other gaming system in the world has.

Nintendo paid for it, though. The AHA doesn’t want to call it pay. They say things that will make it seem like a donation, or an offset to the AHA’s operational costs. But, however you look at it, it is still a bribe. A bribe to an organization that is tasked with promoting health.

The ethics of this BUSINESS TRANSACTION are cloudy. The AHA claims they did it because they ‘have to stay in the game’. Really? I wasn’t aware that people who take bribes do it because of survival. I was under the impression that it was a product of greed, corruption, and power. Nintendo entered into an agreement with the AHA to pay them $1.5 million dollars over several years. Doesn’t sound like a donation at all. It sounds like a negotiated contract.

In return for that money, Nintendo will get to put the AHA stamp on the Wii console. This endorsement will make them a lot of money. It will help them keep their system alive against so many competing systems who do not have the AHA’s endorsement.

For the record, the American Heart Association does not endorse any other video game console, and in fact doctors for many decades have stated that video games are bad for health. Add to that the fact that a good number of Wii game titles do not even involve significant physical activity. It is a toy, not a sport. You don’t play with a Wii system outside. You use it indoors, and in many cases you’re sitting on your butt while doing so, possibly jerking your arm at times, but not in any way that’s going to burn calories more than sitting there watching television.

Sports equipment, involved with burning a lot more calories, and moving the human body in much more practical ways, doesn’t get the AHA seal. Cereals and food products do, though. Look how much money these companies make. Do you really feel all that healthy by seeing a sticker? Not me. Boxes have lots of stickers on them. I see ‘markdown’ stickers, and often find the item cheaper elsewhere after I look around. I see stickers, labels, and factoids on boxes and packages, and many of them are ‘legalese’ designed to mislead me into buying the product contained within.

What many people will likely be concerned with is this. We already know the labels lie to us. Does the American Heart Association want to be one of those dishonest labels, all for a $1.5 million donation? These people are doctors. They can’t be that strapped for cash. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) are another organization that is (rumored to be) involved with taking kickbacks from companies in exchange for endorsements. In fact, there are a lot of people nowadays that simply will not trust an FDA message on a package. The AHA has so far not had to deal with these concerns, but if they keep displaying poor or corrupt judgment, there could soon be a time when no one will trust their brand, either.

Is Nintendo’s money really worth selling your soul for? And, what should we expect from you if it is a success? Will you put your stamp on junk food? Will you endorse television shows?

Reading this blog post burns miniscule calories, and is not endorsed by any doctors, but I stand behind my beliefs, and I urge anyone reading this to voice your concerns with the AHA directly, even to the point of boycotting their branded products. They must be shown that selling their ideals for a quick buck is not the way to go.

Tina Harden: Longwood, Florida’s own book nazi and admitted thief.

Longwood, Florida is home to Tina Harden, a ‘concerned’ mother of a now 15 year old daughter. Two years ago, her daughter (then 13) checked out some ‘young adult’ themed books from the local public library. Her mom became infuriated that the library doesn’t engage in illegal censorship, and has so far refused to return the titles, racking up a fine of nearly $100, and publicly stating her desire not to return them unless the library gives in to her demands. Her statements display a clear indication of theft. She has dodged attempts by the library to get the books returned, or the fees paid. She claims that the library staff are ‘public servants’, and that as a ‘taxpayer’ (note, a single taxpayer, not a group thereof) she has the power to tell them what books can be checked out by whomever she feels can do so.

The books are several titles in the “Gossip Girl” and “It Girl” series. They depict some sexual situations, drug use, and ‘foul language’.

At issue, is the fact that Tina Harden thinks she has the right to make parenting decisions for other people’s children, and can steal books if they don’t fit her view of what people should read.

Personally, I think this bitch belongs in a jail cell, and I don’t see why the Longwood police haven’t arrested her already. She has no desire to return ‘borrowed’ property, and that is clearly theft. If she had rented a television, and didn’t want to return it, and racked up late return charges, the store could have her arrested. Why should a borrowed library book be any different? She’s still a thief, is she not?

Under federal law, literature cannot be censored, yet these are the conditions which Tina Harden has set for the return of her stolen property. She will not return the books she stole, unless they are labeled, and not available for minors to borrow. The library has even offered to place them in the adult reading section, but this isnt good enough for the bitch. She’s an elitist who has to get her way. There can be no compromise on her flawed views.

Why not lock her up? She is a criminal.

Does anyone actually think they have the right to steal property owned by the entire community just because you don’t want certain people to use it? Think about this lunacy for a moment. You could steal parking meters, so that only you could park at a certain place. Steal a restaurant table, just to make sure you always had a place to sit. You could steal newspapers in the early morning hourse from every person’s driveway, to stop them from reading an article you don’t want them to read. You could jam their television signals, to control what channels you wish them to be able to watch. Doesn’t sound very fair, does it? Plus, someone else could do these same things to you.

Good thing it is a criminal act, huh? The question remains. When will Tina Harden, emboldened book nazi and confessed thief, be arrested, jailed, and/or FORCED to comply with the laws of our nation? You do not steal from us, Tina Harden. I don’t care who you are, or why you think you can raise my kids for me. You are a stupid opinionated bitch. Plus, your daughter turns 18 in just a few years. She’ll be able to borrow any book she likes then. She can also have you arrested if you steal her library books. Ironic how power works, eh?

If you live in Longwood, Florida, and you are a regular patron of the library, I urge you to talk to the library and the police. Get the word out. Flood the system with calls for Tina Harden’s arrest. She is a thief, and a threat to our parenting rights. She must be punished.

Sprint fires employees for violating company policy while not even on the job.

Paul Shoemaker and Mike McGee, two regular nice guys, have been fired from their jobs at a Sprint store at a mall in Denver, Colorado. Sprint has this ‘non-aggression’ policy that prevents employees from confronting shoplifters or thieves. The two responded to a mall security guard’s request for assistance while outside of the Sprint store, on break. They assisted in the capture of a shoplifter who had robbed another store in the Cherry Creek Mall.

Sprint heard about their actions, and requested details from them. Assuming the pair told the truth, Sprint would have known, policies aside, they acted away from store property, and on break. Also, they responded to a request for assistance from mall security. This means that Sprint is legally on very shaky ground in terminating their jobs. For some reason, they chose to do so anyway. Now, it could be stupidity. It could even be that the store that was shoplifted from was a rival store, and that aiding them in recovering inventory in some indirect way aided a rival, but that would be unethical and probably illegal.

I think the smart thing here would have been if Shoemaker and McGee had responded to the initial request for details with “It occurred off-site, so it is a private matter.” Sprint could not have pressed them further. The pair were punished for doing the right thing, and doing it on their own time. The ordeal was even over before their break would have been, so it took up no extra company time. The two ex-employees haven’t expressed any desire to sue over this, but they shouldn’t have to. Sprint should be required to re-instate their jobs.

For Dan Hesse, the popularized “CEO” of Sprint, I’ll say this You have a habit of coming into our homes in commercials. “Now, that’s more like it.” You know what would be more like it? Saving face be re-hiring these guys. The last thing you want is a consumer public thinking you don’t care if someone steals our purchases. The last thing you want is customers getting upset with your company over your treatment of employees who weren’t even in your store. No one likes thought police. As a business owner, I tend to respect Sprint. I’m not so sure I will continue to do so, knowing how they treat people. You’ve brought this on yourselves.

Do the right thing, before it gets further out of hand.

GEICO nazis fire a voice actor for exercising free speech.

Lance Baxter, a voice-actor for GEICO, was fired presumably for leaving an impromptu voicemail message for FreedomWorks, a Tea Party affiliate organization accused of inciting hate speech. Don’t worry, Baxter has confirmed that he’s not the voice of the GEICO gecko. But, that goes without saying. There is nothing the gecko’s actor could say or do that would make GEICO fire him. That’d be a huge blunder. Ironic, that they care so much about a voicemail that is none of their business anyway, but they don’t give a rat’s damn about their employee’s free speech rights. Nazi corporation.

What do you think?

I think, he didn’t kill anyone, and he raised an interesting point. Millions of people say things about the Tea Party every day. They don’t get fired. Some of them even say it to their faces. Some hold signs, mail letters, organize protests. None of them get fired. Why Baxter?

I know one thing. I know who I won’t be saving money on my car insurance with.

Barack Obama or ‘Professor’ Harold Hill?

I remember as a kid watching television, I used to love “The Music Man” with Robert Preston. It was a story about a con man/traveling salesman named Harold Hill, who preyed upon the hopes (and fears) of honest, hard-working folks. In the end, though, he saw the error in his ways, and made good on his promises. But, his original intent was to rob the town of every cent he could, and manage to make his way out of town on the train before they could figure him out.

Barack Obama’s tenure as President has had quite a bit in common with the play. For example, a lot of the time, rather than announce what he’s done, or is doing, Obama will talk about abstract hopes or dreams, or what he’ll do in the future. He’ll talk about people coming together, or enduring, but he won’t offer much if anything in the way of results. What has he done?

He hasn’t closed G’itmo, despite promising to do so. He hasn’t ended either war, Iraq or Afghanistan, despite promising such. He hasn’t fixed the unemployment or economic crises in the country. He hasn’t really improved our standing internationally with other nations. He’s improved his own standing, though. Everyone’s ‘enthralled’ when he enters a room. He sure does talk like a man who is going somewhere in life, doesn’t he?

But, his professional background is arguably limited. He has never been a diplomat. He has never been a leader. He has never been a banker, or a CEO. In fact, before running for President, Barack Obama was a procrastinator who let his bills pile up. He has very little if anything in common with the average American, and has absolutely no special skill that would allow him to say he’s able to fix our situation. But he understands our plight.. How could he? Pretty words for a speech. He tells a lot of speeches.

How about you show us your credentials, Mr. Hill?